"Daily Hot Takes" - Live PGA Tour Updates

Welcome to the end of the weekday play for the US Open. Today I bring to you our post Friday round edition of our "Daily Hot Takes" segment, coming at you live from the unforgiving fairways of Pinehurst. If you’re expecting polite golf chatter, you've got the wrong blog, buddy. This course is a ruthless monster, spitting out golfers left and right like a bad hooker.

Today’s round was a circus of triumph and disaster: the greens were spitting balls off like they were allergic, and some players rose to the occasion while others folded faster than a poker player with a bad hand. Prepare yourselves, it’s going to be a bumpy ride through the chaos, the comebacks, and the colossal fuck-ups of the day. Let's dive in and see who shined, who choked, and who needs to rethink their life choices.

The Leaderboard Drama

Let's start with the big hitters and headline-makers from today:

Matthieu Pavon (T5): I don't know what it is about this Frenchie, but I hate him, and this is the first time I've honestly paid attention to watching him. As much as I hate him, he is a competitor, and he looks dangerous. His short game is immaculate, and he seems to be a real threat, more so than that ugly fuck Patrick Cantlay.

Ludvig Åberg (1): Another day of pretty steady golf. Today, unlike yesterday, he missed some fairways, and his short game was challenged a bit more. Made some great up-and-downs but also missed a few. I love his game and how fast he plays. If we can get two more solid days under par, he could pull this thing off. Lucky for us, we snagged him at 20-1, and we have all the value going into the weekend.

Thomas Detry (T2): Coming out of nowhere, the Belgian Thomas Detry shoots a 67 in the early rounds and puts himself directly in the mix. Unlike most, this man rose to the occasion with his driver, putting him in great position off the tee and capitalizing with his approach game. Thomas is yet to win on the PGA Tour, but he's consistently getting better. He could snag this thing, although I hope he does not.

Our Current Picks:

Brooks Koepka (+5): Absolutely brutal back nine—the guy made a 7! A fucking 7! This guy has lost his touch. My apologies for a brutal pick. Koepka stands no chance. Good thing his wife is hot, or I bet he'd be contemplating suicide right now, or quitting golf at the very least.

Cam Smith (+3): The Aussie who turned fraud. I remember a time when Cam Smith was the guy to watch. Now, you'd rather gouge your eyes out than watch him. He's not even the best Aussie golfer. Step aside, Cam Smith; you are officially old news.

Bezuidenhout/Homa/Conners/Sungjae: First off, we missed, bringing the parlay to 1-1—not great but not bad. Here is why we missed: Homa is addicted to three-putting more than Rob Ford was addicted to crack and Sungjae is playing catastrophic golf. If Homa didn't miss the cut as well, Sungjae would've been the first "Rated R" segment out of me. I'm truly at a loss for words at how bad he was. Bezuidenhout did the job and made the cut, and Conners played some great golf. Overall, we went 2/2, but we have to do better going forward. Feel free to attack me in the comments; I deserve it.

Tiger Woods (+7): There was hope for a bit. I refuse to attack Tiger as much as I do others. But for fuck's sake, did he forget how to putt? I mean, the guy can't putt to save his life anymore. If the hole was five feet in diameter, he would still miss. A damn shame.

Finau Over Wyndham Clark (72 Hole): Honestly, Wyndham had me shaking in my boots for the first few holes. Then classic amateur Wyndham came out, and he ended up shooting 71 (+1). Finau looks great still; he remained composed after early mistakes and shot a solid round, putting him a few strokes ahead of Wyndham going into the weekend. It's not over yet—there's lots of room for error, but I am hopeful that Finau will come through for us.

Tommy Fleetwood Over Justin Thomas (72 Hole): Tommy Fleetwood played miserably today, shooting a 75 (+5), and it was an embarrassment to the English crowd, especially with the Euros underway. The English are due for sadness for eternity—sorry, but it's not coming home, and Tommy isn't a competitor in this thing. For us, though, it doesn't matter because Justin Thomas is that bad, and I loved watching it, to be honest. Fade JT=CASH.

Tomorrow's Picks

Now, the juicy part—our picks for tomorrow’s action:

Value Pick

Alright, degenerates, it’s time for our value pick heading into the weekend of the 124th US Open. Vegas might think they’ve nailed down the odds, but they haven’t met our knack for unearthing the gems amidst the chaos. The challenge is stiff, but for those who crave the rush of betting against the grain and flipping the bird to conventional wisdom, welcome home. We’re all a little twisted here, and I’m here to fuel your addiction.

This week, our golden goose is Hideki Matsuyama at +230 to finish T5. Matsuyama has been stealthily creeping up the leaderboard, and with his impeccable iron play, he’s poised to make a serious move on Moving Day. As the competition tightens and the pressure mounts, Matsuyama's calm demeanor and precise game will shine. At +230, this pick is juicier than your girlfriends vagina when she looks at me, and it’s the perfect way to stick it to your bookie. Don’t sleep on Matsuyama – get on this bet and let’s ride the wave of victory together.

Wrapping Up Day 2: The Madness Continues

Well, that's a wrap for Day 2 of the US Open. Today’s action was nothing short of a rollercoaster with Tiger Woods falling off the radar, proving that not even legends are immune to Pinehurst's brutal grip. On the flip side, Thomas Detry surprised everyone with a stellar round, making a bold statement on the course.

Our picks are holding their ground, but there's still a long way to go. Make sure to stay tuned for tomorrow’s "Daily Hot Takes," where we’ll delve into more action, fresh picks, and undoubtedly, more of our signature rated-R humor. Also, special shoutout to the Wop Francesco Molinari who aced 9 to make the cut, unbelievable mojo for the Italian squad tomorrow!