Game 2 Preview: Celtics vs. Mavericks – Let’s Get Dirty

Alright, Game 2 of the NBA Finals is here: Boston Celtics vs. Dallas Mavericks. Before we dive into tonight's bets, let’s take a victory lap for our Game 1 parlay hitting with ease at +625! Now, let’s keep the cash flowing.

PJ Washington: The Try Hard

First up, PJ Washington going over 19.5 points, assists, and rebounds. This guy’s been a beast. PJ’s like a horny teen on Viagra—scoring, pounding the boards, and dishing out assists. Betting on him is like betting on U18 male teams to beat professional female teams—pretty much a sure thing.

Derrick White: The Bald King

Next, Derrick White over 4.5 assists. He’s hit this number 7 out of his last 10 games. White’s passing is slicker than a pornstar at a lube convention. He’ll be dishing out assists like they're free samples at Costco. If he doesn't, I’ll question my decision to bet on this bald prick.

Derrick Jones Jr.: The One Three-Point Sniper

Then we’ve got Derrick Jones Jr., needing just one three-pointer. He came up big for us last game, so why not again? Jones is a cheap pick to add to the parlay and is reliable, hitting this number in 12 out of 18 playoff games and 4 of his last 4. Betting on him to drain one three is like betting a Kardashian gets more plastic surgery.

Kristaps Porzingis: The Latvian Slim Shady

Finally, Kristaps Porzingis to score 15 points. That tall Latvian fuck played great last game, and I see him doing it again. Porzingis is a 7-foot nightmare towering over defenders and shooting with precision. Betting on him, though, has more risk than hooking up with a crackhead. It's either he plays great or awful.

Final Thoughts

There you have it, degenerates—our Game 2 preview with bets hotter than a stripper on payday. PJ Washington, Derrick White, Derrick Jones Jr., and Kristaps Porzingis are the players to watch. The odds for all this to happen are a juicy +700. So, let’s get ready for high-flying action and hopefully, a big payday. Get your wallets ready, and let’s ride this money train to victory.