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Game 4 Preview: Celtics vs. Mavericks – Betting Like We’ve Lost Our Minds
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Hoop heads, we’re diving headfirst into Game 4 of the NBA Finals between the Boston Celtics and the Dallas Mavericks. Let’s face it, my betting record in this series has been shittier than a medieval midget after taco bell, but tonight we’re saying “fuck it” and going all in.
Betting Disaster Recap
First off, let's address the elephant in the room. My bets have been about as successful as a screen door on a submarine. Luka fouling out, Tatum forgetting how to pass, it’s like I’m cursed. But tonight we're turning it around, baby!
Daniel Gafford Board Man Gets Paid
First bet Daniel Gafford grabbing 7 boards. Yeah, you heard me. Seven rebounds. If the Mavs have any hope of not getting their asses handed to them, they need to control the glass. Gafford’s gotta channel his inner Dennis Rodman, minus the wedding dress and crackhead piercings.
Luka Doncic The Slovenian Sniper
Next up, we’re betting on Luka Doncic to hit 5 threes. If Dallas wants to avoid getting steamrolled by the Celtics Luka has to be in god mode. Luka raining down threes like he’s playing a game of NBA Jam, if he pulls this off I might just have to build a shrine of him in my living room.
PJ Washington Mr. Reliable
Finally, we’re taking PJ Washington to score 15 points. This motherfucker has been solid all playoffs. I can see Boston leaving PJ open for a couple three's and him being clutch with the basketball. PJ dropping 15 should be easier than getting a Tinder match in a uni city.
So there you have it. The odds on this wild parlay are a whopping +2500. It’s like betting drunk, but hey, fortune favors the bold, right? Or maybe the clinically insane. Either way, grab your drinks, settle in, and let’s watch these bets hit harder than molly on spring break.
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