Game 7 Preview: Panthers vs. Oilers The Final Fucking Showdown

Here we are Game 7 of the NHL Finals. It all comes down to this. Florida has been choking harder than a fat boy on a bong rip these past three games and Edmonton looks like they’re ready to steamroll anyone in their path. Who’s taking home the Cup tonight? Can Canada bring a cup home for the first time since 1993? Or does Florida pounce back after 3 straight losses and spoil the night for Canadians ? Let's dive into what we see happening!

Barkov: The Assist Machine

Alexander Barkov. If you don’t think this guy is going to rack up at least one assist tonight you’re either high or you’ve never watched hockey. Barkov has been dishing out assists like Oprah giving away cars. “You get an assist! And you get an assist!” He’s been absolutely killing it and there’s no way he’s not feeding his teammates some juicy passes tonight. Barkov’s vision on the ice is like a porn director’s-- always finding the right angle to make magic happen.

McDavid: The Human Highlight Reel

Next we’ve got the best player in the world Connor McDavid. If you think he’s not putting up at least two points in this game get your head out of your ass. McDavid is a fucking wizard with the puck and Game 7 is the perfect stage for him to show why he’s the goddamn GOAT. This guy’s faster than a teenager deleting their browser history when their parents walk in. Expect him to light up the scoreboard and make the Panthers' defense look like a bunch of traffic cones. Also, let's quickly mention that McDavid has been playing off a crack rock since game 4, this guy is just faster and better then everyone else. He seems to just want it more.

Shots on Goal: Reinhart and Draisaitl

Now let’s talk about shots on goal. We’re banking on Sam Reinhart and Leon Draisaitl to each record over 2.5 shots on goal. Why? Because why the fuck not? Reinhart’s been a sniper all season and he’s going to be firing everything he’s got at the net tonight. As for Draisaitl the German powerhouse is going to be peppering the goalie like he’s trying to win a game of paintball. Both of these guys are trigger-happy and they’re not going to hold back with everything on the line.

Parlay Power

And here’s the kicker: if you parlay all these bets, Barkov getting an assist, McDavid recording two points and both Reinhart and Draisaitl hitting over 2.5 shots on goal you’re looking at juicy +1000 odds.