"Going Low" - 124th US Open @ Pinehurst

Alright, golf fans, gear up for the 124th US Open at the historic Pinehurst in North Carolina! It's been a decade since this legendary course last hosted the tournament, and this year, it promises to be more challenging than ever. The defending champion, Wyndham Clark, faces an uphill battle to defend his title. Pinehurst and the US Open are ready to make a statement with a course setup designed to test the best and watch them struggle. They’re not just looking for a challenge; they want to make this course as unbearable as a night with your ex-mother-in-law.

In our "Going Low" segment, we spotlight those remarkable golfers who have the potential to shoot low scores and defy the odds. Here are my picks for players to watch:

Cameron Smith: The Aussie Dart Thrower

Cameron Smith is a sharpshooter with the potential to go low at Pinehurst. When he's in top form, his accuracy is deadly. Smith is motivated, especially after his past incident with Scottie Scheffler. In a heated moment after the news of Cam joining LIV was announced, Scheffler infamously walked over Smith’s putting line, sparking a rivalry that Cam hasn’t forgotten, with Scottie living rent-free inside the Aussie’s dome. With odds at 40-1, he's a strong contender to come out firing and prove a point. He’s ready to stick it to Scottie like a porn star nailing their scene partner—consistently and with precision.

Brooks Koepka: The US Open Baller

Brooks Koepka thrives in the US Open. With two previous wins, Koepka loves to show his nuts in this major tournament as much as the horny broadcast team loves to show his hot wife. His game perfectly fits Pinehurst’s demands: long hitting, accuracy, and the ability to two-putt from anywhere. Despite his occasional rage episodes, Koepka is eyeing his third US Open title, and if he doesn't perform, I feel for his children. He’s like a man on a mission, ready to conquer the course and his inner demons—one stroke at a time. Koepka sits at 20-1.

Scottie Scheffler: The Favorite

Scottie Scheffler is the obvious favorite, touted as golf's next big thing since Tiger Woods. However, with odds at 3-1, he's not the best bet for "going low" early. Nonetheless, Scheffler's presence will be significant throughout the tournament; all the players will feel his presence much like Aaron Rodgers feels God during his ayahuasca getaways. Betting on him is like betting the sun will rise—it’s almost a given, but where’s the fun in that?

Ludvig Aberg: The Scrambling Phenom

Ludvig Aberg might have faltered last week, but he's back with a strong case for Pinehurst. Ranking in the top 10 in scrambling and ball striking, Aberg's skills are crucial for the course's forecasted conditions. With odds at 20-1, Aberg is a solid bet to stay in the mix with his long hitting and efficient putting. He’s like a trusty Swiss Army knife, ready for whatever the course throws at him—from thick roughs and tricky greens to dodging drunk golf moms trying to show him their "hole-in-one".

Final Thoughts

There you have it, folks. Our "Going Low" picks for the US Open at Pinehurst are set to make waves. Cameron Smith, Brooks Koepka, and Ludvig Aberg are the players to watch. With the course promising to challenge every aspect of their game, we’re in for a thrilling tournament. Buckle up and get ready for some intense golf action as these players aim to defy the odds and go low at Pinehurst. Remember, this year’s US Open is all about making the players sweat harder than a sinner in church, so expect some top-tier golf and a whole lot of cursing.

You might as well tell your boss to go fuck himself this Thursday and Friday because this tournament is not something you'll want to miss, and you definitely don’t want to hear it all from your annoying golf nerd friend. Nobody likes that. Cheers.