Welcome back, you sick degenerates. It's only right I call you that because you're getting ready to bet on another mid-tier tournament on the PGA Tour. Don't worry, you're not alone—I’m also unloading on this tournament and betting way more than I responsibly should. Oh well, fuck it.
Last week at the Rocket Mortgage Classic, we almost hit on our "Going Low" segment with Akshay, who had a Rory-esque choke, and Min Woo Lee, who had a great chance as well on Sunday. We had serious hope with 2 out of 3 picks, which is all we can ask for as the degenerates we are, just looking for that rush.
This week, we've got the John Deere Classic held at TPC Deere Run. I’m only giving out two picks because the field is ass once again and there is limited value in my eyes. Prepare yourselves for some mayhem, and honestly, if I were you, I'd tail this week because I’m absolutely feeling it with these picks. Let's get into it.
Pick 1: Aaron Rai - The Straight Shooter
First up, I’ve got Aaron Rai, the straightest driver on tour. For those of you unfamiliar with Aaron, he’s English and wears two gloves. Now, I know that screams Pride Month participant, but he is on fire the past few weeks. Aaron is always in contention and has been going low more than the average player. To provide some stats for the nerds out there, Rai has placed T19 or better in the past three tournaments and has led the field on at least one day in each of those weeks. Aaron Rai hits the ball straight, rarely makes mistakes, and can putt with the best of them when he's feeling it. I'm taking Rai at 18-1, and so should you. He will lead, and this weekend he will be in the last group. Take it, pussy. Don't be scared—the cool kids (Perri's) are doing it.
Pick 2: Nick Dunlap - The Dark Horse
Second and lastly, I’m looking at Nick Dunlap. Now, this is a feel-type pick. He doesn't have the stats or accolades to back it up, but what I saw out of Nick last week wasn’t a fluke. He is capable of winning, and this may be the week he does it with such a miserable field. Nick finished T10 last week, his swing looked pure, and he didn’t crack when he made some errors. Nick is sitting at 35-1 to win (which I’m hitting) and 8-1 top 5 (which I’m HAMMERING). Nick Dunlap’s name will be known after this week—mark my words.
Teeing Off
That's all for today pigeons, I got Aaron Rai and Nick Dunlap for the John Deere Classic. Now, don't forget and make sure you stay tuned for tomorrow's "Fairway Favorites," where we are smashing another parlay to make some near-guaranteed money. After hitting last week and moving to 2-1, we are feeling hot. Let’s ride these picks to victory and enjoy the chaos of the tournament. Cheers, and good luck!
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