Steelers Tracking: Offseason Shenanigans

Welcome to the wild ride of the Pittsburgh Steelers offseason! If you can't tell we here at Perri Sports Hub are die hard fans and we will be covering everything Pittsburgh Steelers as raw as we possibly can. This offseason has been a mix of house cleaning questionable trades and a few jaw-dropping signings. Let's dive right in !

Goodbye, Deadweight!

The Steelers kicked things off by cutting loose some major liabilities. Mason Cole Presley Harvin Kenny "Two Gloves but Can't Throw" Pickett and Mitch "Titties" Trubisky good riddance! I mean Kenny spun into sacks like he was auditioning for Dancing with the Stars. And Mitch Let's just say his nickname tells you everything you need to know.

Diontae Johnson Drama

We traded Diontae Johnson and a 7th-round pick for a 6th-rounder and cornerback Donte Jackson. Sure, losing Diontae hurts, but the dude was a locker room cancer. Plus we desperately needed corner help. So, it's a win-win... sort of.

Russell Wilson and Justin Fields?!

In a move that screams why the fuck not, we signed Russell Wilson for a bag of chips and traded for our supposed franchise quarterback Justin Fields. A conditional 6th-round pick was all it took to get this done. Fields is going to thrive in Pittsburgh especially under our new OC Arthur Smith. I can't wait to watch him ball out.

Defensive Upgrades

On defense, we snagged Patrick Queen for a 3-year contract. This young psycho is going to crush bodies left and right. PQ6 already has sparked the fanbase by throwing some shade at his ex teammates with the ratbirds. PQ is a true class act. We also gave Minkah Fitzpatrick some much-needed help by signing safety DeShone Elliott to a 2-year deal.

Trading the Frauds

We scammed Philly for a third-round pick and two 7ths in exchange for Kenny Pickett and a 4th. Thank God Kenny is gone Every time he felt pressure he'd spin right into a sack. fucking bum.

Offensive Depth and the "Punt God"

We added some wide receiver depth with Van Jefferson who'll be a solid 3rd or 4th option. But the real under the-radar signing Cameron Johnston the "Punt God" compared to the tub of lard we had last year. Great move by the Khan Artist!

Draft Day Delights

The Steelers nailed the draft this year. In the first round, we grabbed tackle Troy Fautanu from Washington with the 20th overall pick. Solid choice along side with Broderick jones from last year. In the second round we took center Zach Frazier from West Virginia with the 51st pick. Goodbye Mason Cole, you fat bastard .Third rounders included WR Roman Wilson from Michigan at 84th overall and LB Payton Wilson from N.C. State at 98th. Roman’s a great route runner ready to fill Diontae’s shoes. Payton on the other hand is a white Ryan Shazier, can’t wait to see this body crunching addict in the middle of the field.

Late Round Gems and Free Agent Frenzy

In the later rounds we picked up G Mason McCormick from South Dakota State at 119th DE Logan Lee from Iowa at 178th and DB Ryan Watts from Texas at 195th. McCormick's a beast while Lee and Watts are solid depth .We also signed Scotty Miller the white Tyreek Hill minus the actual skills. He'll be a good return man though. And don't sleep on Cordarrelle Patterson and Quez Watkins, Patterson could be a cheat code in our new offense.Lastly, we brought back former Steeler and noted woman beater Cam Sutton. He's suspended for the first 8 games but when he returns he'll be a game-changer.

Shout out the Khan artist for an absolute banger of an offseason thus far, bringing us closer to number 7. Let's Fucking Go Steelers Nation !