The 2nd Games of the 2024 Euros (06/22): Crackheads, Pork Chops, and Belgian Beatdowns

Alright you filthy degenerates get ready for another round of Euro 2024 action on Saturday June 22nd. We’ve got three games lined up that promise goals and a whole lot of gambling glory. Hopefully there is less dives in tomorrow's slate because it is becoming unbearable to watch. This past Austria Vs Poland game had 35 minutes of diving time easily. These pigeons dive more than anything else and it is ruining the sport, I understand why past fans now refuse to watch today’s soccer. It's like watching someone get a manicure, the most rainbow esque activity. If your lost diving = gay, simplest way I can put it. Anyway here's the rundown for tomorrow.

9 AM EST: Georgia vs. Czech Republic – The Crackhead's Delight

Kicking off bright and early at 9 AM we have Georgia taking on the Czech Republic. I’m telling you this game is gonna be better than it looks on paper. Georgia’s got this special attacker Kvaratskhelia, who plays like he’s got a direct line to a stash of crack--relentless unpredictable and absolutely wild. And the Czechs aren’t pushovers either. So, I’m taking the over 2.5 goals at +100. Expect a frenzy of action that’ll wake you up faster than a double shot of espresso.

12 PM EST: Turkey vs. Portugal The Pork Chop Showdown

Next up at noon we’ve got Turkey squaring off against Portugal. My inner pork chop wants to throw all my money on Portugal but the psycho in me is whispering “Turkey or tie baby!" So, I’m taking Turkey or tie double chance at +130. Portugal might have the star power but Turkey’s got the grit and the unpredictability to pull off something special. I also think they are one of the most underrated teams in the tournament led by Hakan Çalhanoglu the Inter midfielder. This turkey team has some serious skill. This game’s gonna be tight.

3 PM EST: Belgium vs. Romania The Belgian Beatdown

Finally, at 3 PM we’ve got Belgium ready to absolutely demolish Romania. This isn’t gonna be a game, it’s gonna be a massacre. Belgium to win the first half and to score at least two goals at +130 is the bet. I don’t care if Romania shows up with their best game face, Belgium’s gonna treat them like a punching bag. Expect goals and lots of them from the Belgians who’ll be on a mission to destroy.

The Bets:

• Georgia vs. Czech Republic: Over 2.5 goals (+100)

• Turkey vs. Portugal: Turkey or tie double chance (+130)

• Belgium vs. Romania: Belgium to win first half and score at least two goals (+130)

I’m bundling these bets into a parlay for a mouth-watering +958 payout. So pour yourself a stiff drink, plant your ass on the couch and brace yourself for a day of football insanity that’s gonna be as unpredictable and wild as a night out with Charlie Sheen. Place your bets cross your fingers and let’s hope your luck holds up better than Romania’s paper thin defense!