The Final Group Stage Games of the 2024 Euros

What's going on you degenerate football fiends, it’s time to break down the final group stage games of the 2024 Euros. We're diving into the matches on June 23rd and 24th. get ready because this ride’s gonna be wilder than a night out on the red light district.

June 23rd 3 PM: Scotland vs. Hungary The Crapshoot

Kicking things off at 3 PM we have Scotland vs. Hungary. Let's be real this game is going to suck. I mean, who actually wants to watch this trainwreck If I have to make a pick I’m taking the under 2.5 goals at +110 because these teams couldn’t find the back of the net with a GPS. This match is gonna be like watching paint dry only less exciting.

June 23rd 3 PM: Germany vs. Switzerland The Cakewalk

At the same time we’ve got Germany taking on Switzerland. This game is basically a formality for the Germans they’re already cruising into the next round. For the Swiss, it’s semi-important but let’s face it they’re gonna be sweating bullets. I’m betting on both teams to score at least one at -138 because the Germans might be taking it easy, and the Swiss will be fighting like a cornered rat. Expect a lazy German defense and a desperate Swiss attack.

June 24th 3 PM: Albania vs. Spain The Massacre

Moving on to June 24th at 3 PM we have Albania vs. Spain. This game is utterly meaningless for the Spaniards they’ve already secured the top spot in the group. But even Spain’s backups are leagues ahead of Albania’s best. Still, I’m feeling pyscho so I’m taking Albania to score at least one goal at -138. Maybe they’ll get lucky and sneak one past a napping Spanish defense.

June 24th 3 PM: Italy vs. Croatia The Carnage

Finally, we have Italy vs. Croatia at 3 PM. This one’s crucial for both teams. A win for Croatia means they advance while a draw or win will see Italy through. If Italy plays like they did against Spain they’ll get demolished, but I’m betting they’ll show up ready to brawl. I’m taking Italy or draw double chance with Bastoni to get booked because every team that faces Italy ends up getting all the calls. The odds, a juicy +550. Expect drama, fouls, and Italian master class.

The Bets:

• Scotland vs. Hungary: Under 2.5 goals (+110)

• Germany vs. Switzerland: Both teams to score (-138)

• Albania vs. Spain: Albania to score at least one goal (-138)

• Italy vs. Croatia: Italy or draw double chance with Bastoni to get booked (+550)

The Parlay:

Here’s where the magic happens slap all these bets together in a parlay, and you’re looking at a monstrous +3972 payout. So, get baked, settle in, and get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions, profanity, and possibly a few smashed TV remotes. This is gonna be one hell of a ride. May your bets be lucky and your sanity intact!